Music as Therapy

I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the last couple of weeks. The only constant high I have had has been yoga and music. Music has been my therapy or as Kei$ha would say, “My Drug”. Today I have spend hours with my thoughts and music.

Finding my happy place has been hard over the last several months, and I hate that I can’t find the enter child in me. Music keeps me grounded, even when I listen to sad songs it makes me feel alive. When I’m running and it’s me and my pain, singing out loud seems to wash the pain away.

Feeling Good
What was the last great song that took you back to another time? “So Amazing” by Luther Vandross takes me back every time I hear it. I remember dancing with my wife in our small apartment and being thankful for everything. It also takes me back to when Da Boy was Da Infant. I would just hold him late at night, put “So Amazing” on repeat, and just think about how amazing it was to be a father. Sometimes I forget that it’s a blessing and a privilege to be a father.

What’s your “Feel Good” song? Where does it take you?

Deep Thoughts
The best lyrics are those that make you think. Even if the songs bring up old memories it’s good to revisit those dark places to make you remember how far you have come. One of those songs for me is “It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing” by Shania Twain (BTW, she is SO HOT).

Anyway, I use to play this song when I was on the treadmill before my first kid was born. I would get in this quiet mood and my wife and I would call it, “having a moment”. “I see Shania was in the CD player were you having a moment?” , I hated when she would catch me. That song reminds me of 6 months of darkness when I didn’t think I would have unconditional love, I thought I would be alone, or in empty relationships. The beginning reminds me of every unhealthy relationships that I had in the past.

I’m doing fine now that I finally moved on/it’s not so bad/I’m not that sad
I’m not surprised just how well I survived / I’m over the worst and I feel so alive
It only hurts when I’m breathing / my heart only breaks when it’s beating

Sadness can be a good thing. I listen to this song so I can feel the pain that I had so that I can realize that the pain I have now isn’t so bad. Pain and suffering is relative. In your darkest times, it’s hard to think that you have survived worst. God knows I have.

What’s your “Deep” song? We all have a “Deep” song that pulls up the most painful moments of our life. Reliving that pain strengths me, and helps me. I have to remember that I am extremely blessed, and I sometimes lose sight of that because I allow the everyday things to get me down.

As I get ready to drive home, tonight, I think about how easy it will be to focus on the bad parts of my day, but I’m making a pledge to leave it all behind today, and enjoy my family.

One of my tweeps . . . once said,

“My job does not define me. The house or the cars I drive do not define me. My children define me. They speak to the woman I am. They tell you in their actions what kind of woman I am. . . . I leave my mark in the world through my children” – @slorunnermom

p.s. I’m having a moment now!

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Comments
10 Responses to “Music as Therapy”
  1. gayatri says:

    I also have a category for “songs with lyrics I’d rather not think about b/c they make me move!” my fav is get low by lil jon. 🙂

  2. jen (@bwJen) says:

    Feels like home!! http://www.last.fm/music/Chantal+Kreviazuk/_/Feels+Like+Home

    It is this awesome song and every time I need a good cry, I put that song on!

  3. slorunnermom says:

    Your post is so deep and so honest I would have never believed it could have been written by a man. You are so amazing. I like to think that even though the journey seems unusally tough at times it always leads to something even sweeter.

    • damanlovett says:

      I’ll take that as a compliment, I hope you are not calling me a girlie man 😉 Being a Mama’s boy has made me sensitive and I’m trying to find a good balance with my boys. I want them to be sensitive but I don’t want it to cause them the pain it caused me in High School.

  4. Kyra says:

    Eddie, I am in tears reading this post. I must admit, I’ve never let myself have one of those songs, at least to name one. Many depressed songs, but can’t name one. Hubby has one that I know of: Hold On by Wilson Phillips. It helped him through many bad times in his life. (before me…) Love you! Kyra

    • damanlovett says:

      Your husband sounds PHat. I too love Hold On, it is a great inspirational song. You’re The Inspiration by Chicago is good also. It’s hard for men to tap into our sensitive side, and it’s even harder for us to share it. Sounds like you have a pretty cool Hubby!

  5. Eddie, I’ve ALWAY said it, But this post SEALED THE DEAL!!! You ARE my Brother!!! I am just Loving you up from a distance!!!! Such an amazing post!!! My Brother and I, to this day, start singing “So Amazing” When we get together to express how happy we are in life!! It truly BAFFLES me that you would EVER think that you could be Anything other than LOVED ABUNDANTLY!! You. My Friend, ARE LOVE!!!!! I have been truly blessed to be able to add you to my “Circle Of Friends”!!!!
    I Love You More Than Words,
    Dr.Mo

    • damanlovett says:

      Thanks Mo! I’m glad we have become friends and you are a blessing. If I had my tweeter friends during my dark years I probably would have surfaced earlier.

  6. Kyra says:

    Hey Sweetie! I nominated you for a creative writing blogger award! Head over to my blog and pick it up!

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