“Will Work for Emotional Help!”

If you have known me for more than 5 minutes you know that I suck at asking for emotional help.  I’ve never been good at ask for what I need, and like many I’m not sure I could even tell when I need help. I was taught at a young age, “Don’t let the world know your pain”  I always listen to my friends problems but I never feel like anyone would care or be interested in my problems.  So usually I even chicken out when I ask for help . . SORRY MO!  @FitInMyHeart is always there for me, she’s the kind of person that with a caring heart.  I have promised to call her several times, but every time I think about dialing, I say to myself why would she want to here my problems. Not logical but it’s still MY reality.  I have to figure out how to teach my that it’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help, which leads me to my sons.

I have been struggling emotionally lately, and I have been holding it in and not asked anyone for help.  My 6yo still knows me better than anyone and lately has noticed that something isn’t right with Dad.  He can look at my face and tell you exactly what I’m thinking and I think we have always have had that connection.  Well, I had a 12 mile run Sunday, and I made the mistake of telling him I was a little worried about it.  He woke up early and made me a note, and if you know my son he does nothing simple.  He made a note and folded it so that when I open it I would see three different messages.  He told me to open it when I got tired.

I have been struggling with a lot of things lately and running has been my only saving grace.  As I started the run, I wasn’t really feeling it.  Usually I can block out life when I run, but for the first 4 miles I was feeling sorry for myself.  My brain was replying the last couple of weeks.  If it was a negative person, place, or noun I visited it.  I decided to open my son’s letter, I figure his “I love you” and picture would cheer me up.  I pulled it out, and the first fold said “I Love You”, that made me smile.  Fully opened and to my surprise he had written, “Your sons are counting on you”  I get choked up typing this, which is nothing to the water works I got will I was running.  I cried for a half-mile.

He brought me back to reality and the fact that my life isn’t my life.  My 6 year old constantly amazing me cause he knows me so well.  Being healthy is important, and I know I need to be there physically, mentally, and emotionally for my sons. They are “Counting” on me to help to become men.  How can I quit with pressure like that!  If I don’t get my head on straight, I will let my sons down.  Giving up on life is not a option, because there’s so much I want to give and get from my sons.  There’s so much my Dad missed in my life and I don’t want to miss those special times with my boys.  As a parent we have to realize that the joy, the love, the good times, the bad times, and everything in between is a blessing.  I have been blessed to know great fathers on Twitter, and I hope we always share our experience to remind us that, “We get out of Fatherhood, twice as much as we give out”

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Comments
9 Responses to ““Will Work for Emotional Help!””
  1. Lori says:

    Wow, that just gave me chills. Children are so amazing and they see things so clearly. I find that when I need to regain my perspective, I just talk to one of my children. They make me see the truth and all that really matters. Your little guys are so special.

  2. damanlovett says:

    I agree, Lori. My mom tells stories about giving up as a single parent and that I was the only thing that kept here going. She said she knew I was counting on her. I know my boys my life line!

  3. Oh, my dearest Eddie… What I NEED for you to KNOW is that in your DARKEST DAY, you are MY LIGHT!!! You see.. we CLICKED (when we met in Myrtle beach) because we are THE SAME!!! I, too, find it incredibly hard to ask for help, to share my TRUE feelings, or admit that I’m hurting. I have a CORE GROUP that I’m LEARNING to OPEN UP 2! It’s STILL HARD, but its getting easier! YOU ARE IN THAT GROUP… Let’s Lean and LEARN on and from each other!! I LOVE YOU LIKE THAT!!! Your son is a Precious Angel!! You are BLESSED to have each other!!! I’ve said it once and I will say it again… YOU ARE AN AMAZING FATHER!!!! I’m looking forward to our phone time…WHENEVER that may be! I’m Here…
    Love you lots
    Monique

    • damanlovett says:

      Mo you are the sweetest person ever created! Thanks for always being there for me, even when you don’t know you are there.

  4. Oh how lovely and amazing and intuitive of your sons!! Kids feel everything and even though we can hide the bulk of it they still know something is up.

    Just know I am here for ya!! Sometimes it is hard actually talking out loud when I have problems…so if you ever want to text or email me – please do so!! ANYTIME!

    Much love, jen

    • damanlovett says:

      Thanks Jenn!! Be careful what you ask for, I might email you with for help. My email will be the one with no text just pictures of an old man sobbing while running.

  5. Trish says:

    Wow what a powerful and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing so openly about it. I have 4 children and 3 boys still at home and (as you) want to be there for them and watch them grow, teach them what I can, I can’t do that if I am so unhealthy. I just started running not long ago and there are days (like today) when I wanted to stop my podcast for C25K and come in an nap. I didn’t, I kept on going and reading this post and just confirmed and reminded me why. Thank you so much!

    • damanlovett says:

      Thanks Trish!! With 3 boys I might defer to you for some hard core answer! I know your kids will appreciate a healthy move that feels good inside and out! BTW, I freakin’ LOVE C25K!

  6. Kyra says:

    Oh wow. You are raising an amazing young man in that boy of yours. I can tell the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, because you are amazing too. I’m here for you too, my friend.

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